Distracted part 3 - Girl state theory

I realize I didn't explain my theory from before.

When a girl has the same name as a state, avoid her. Alabama, Montana, Dakota, Carolina, Georgia.

I think that's pretty much all it works for.

Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas - shudder

California, Colorado, Connecticut - Who would name their child Connecticut? However, I will say that you should avoid girls FROM Connecticut

Delaware, Florida, Hawaii, Idaho - If the girl is called Idaho, you can't claim you weren't warned

Illinois, Indiana - Stay away from guys named Indiana. Actually, this just goes for my girlfriend, who is in love with Indiana Jones

Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Lousiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississipp, Missouri, Nebraska - I think "Nebraska is tied with Arkansas for worst name for a girl I can think of so far. I can't believe I'm going through the states when I have so much work to do

Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania - if the girl is called "Oklahoma," you know you'll be trying to hit that "sooner" than you should

Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, Utah - I'd pay to see a girl named Utah. I wonder if there are any black Mormons?

Vermont, Virginia - how could I forget Virgiania? Totally add that to the list of women to avoid

Washington, West Virginia (just to be safe), Wisconsin, Wyoming - There has to be some sort of square butt joke we can make here, isn't there?

From the last post, I want to add to the theory:


"Never deal with a girl who's first name is a day of the week." I would also add month of the year, except one of my good friends is named April, and she might murder me. But if the girl's name is October? Flee!

Are there any other rules this should apply to? I know you never play poker with a guy who's first name is a city, but what about girls? Stripper names are scary, but they are pretty common too, so I don't think you can apply that.

I'm open to suggestions.

And now, back to the Carnival, until the next Brownie Break.