Love that Shan Yu

"Live with a man 40 years. Share his house, his meals. Speak on every subject. Then tie him up, and hold him over the volcano's edge. And on that day, you will finally meet the man."

quote by Shepherd Derrial Book on "Firefly" 

Why do I suck so much?

So, what kind of idiot am I?

I had all these plans for this morning: review three new shows (Eleventh Hour, Kath & Kim, Life on Mars), plus talk about the Season Premiere of CSI, with the whole Warrick thing. And maybe a Top Ten List.

So what do I do?

Oversleep.

I wake up at 1:00 AM, scrambling to find the shows online, which of course is almost impossible. I find Life on Mars for download, only to realize after I get it that it's the wrong one!

I'm not talking about the British version (which the American show is inspired from). I mean they made a pilot of the American show, THEN they rewrote the pilot, and recast it as well.

ARGH!

I just wasted 1 hour of my life falling in love with a show THAT WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER EPISODE.

I hate life.

Thankfully, the main character is coming back, but everyone else is replaced, so now I have to watch the same (or probably similar) plot show with new actors playing the same characters. You know how creepy that is?

More Things I HATE......

You know how you're watching TV, and it comes to a commercial, so you flip it over to another show or a game or something, and then that show goes to commercial, and you're really not paying attention, and then it finally comes back from commercial and you realize that you've been watching the commercials on a show you're not watching, and you freak out and flip it back to your show, and you've missed who knows how many minutes, since your show could have started right as those commercials on the channel did, and you feel lost for a few minutes, and pissed off at your own stupidity?

I HATE that!

Also, is there a word for that?

Sara Side--FINALLY!--says goodbye to C.S.I.

I watched the last episode of Sara Sidle last night on C.S.I. I will admit upfront: I always hated Sara's character from moment one. I didn't start watching the show until it was in it's 3rd season, but I started at the beginning (when Spike got the syndication rights), and Sara was such a bitch to Warrick. She thought she was so much better than everyone else, and I just hated her.

I probably thawed a little when it was revealed that Sara's dad had molested her and Sara's mom had killed Sara's dad, but the character still rubs me the wrong way. If I made a list of TV characters over the last 20 years that annoy me, Sara would be in the top 3 easily. I just never liked her.

And her romance to Grissom....what could he see in that girl? Sofia would be have been a much better choice. Catherine and he had chemistry. Hell, Lady Heather and Grissom lit the box up!

Sara's departure had been previously announced, but if you haven't seen the episode yet skip to the end. I didn't watch the last few episodes of last year or the beginning of this year, so I didn't see the whole kidnapped thing. I have a hard time believing it could have been as good as the Tarantino episode where they buried Nick alive, but I'll have to see it and judge for myself. I'm not sure why they decided to focus more on Sara, but I'm just as glad she's going, although the manner was totally weird. Grissom asks her to marry him, and so she has to just run away? So Sara. No wonder she drinks.

I'm really hoping that Warrick's marriage breaks up and he and Catherine can get together, but probably Sara's departure means that the creators felt there was nowhere left to go, which means we won't see a "ship" again out in the open. Fair enough.

The straw that broke the camel's back was another case involving that genius girl from two seasons ago, who made it seem like she killed someone her brother did. I thought that was one of the best regular season episodes ever, and it was great to see Juliette Goglia back. Pay attention to her, kids: I think she will be a star one day.

All in all the episode was very good, and all in all Jorja Fox plays it well. I want it said I have nothing against her as an actress, but somehow the character never worked for me. Maybe she can work out those demons, and in the meantime, Grissom is desloated again. This is how it should be. As I wrote back in 2003 in Column #165:

The best monster movies wait as long as possible to show you their creature; knowing that whatever you come up with in your imagination is worse than anything they can film. The same works with TV, in a different way. Based on the earlier Conflict Theory, it is almost always better for characters not to get together romantically. Sometimes the whole show is based on love, but even then, it’s better if the love stories don’t work out, at least not for very long. I hear so many people (read: women) wish for certain characters to have relationships (in the business these people are called “shippers”). They want the happy ending. Everyone does. But in an ongoing TV show, this is death. Like I wrote, all drama is based on conflict, and once the conflict is resolved, there goes the tension of the drama. As much as you might hate this, you know it to be true. The best shows are where it doesn’t work out for the characters, and you’re so frustrated at his/her inability to get the girl or keep the guy that you could scream. That’s what makes serialized TV so great, and that’s what keeps us watching.

And that's it in a nutshell. You can't have happiness and successful drama. You especially can't have it with Grissom, who is so melancholic. Maybe now he'll develop a drinking problem. But whatever he does, you know it will be interesting.

Recap for October 1 TV

Last night's TV.....

Chuck - Another winner. I am seriously digging this show. I I'm not as high on the blond girl; sometimes she's hot, sometimes not, but Adam Baldwin makes up for it, and for some reason I like Chuck's sister, even though she bothers me. I like it how Chuck uses his nerd skills to solve the Spy Crises, like last week infecting a bomb with an internet virus and this week pretending he was playing a helicopter video game. I look forward to seeing which lame nerdy thing he does each week.

Heroes - Maybe (probably) it was me, but I just couldn't get into this episode. It seemed flat and slow, and while I generally appreciate stories that take their time with the storytelling (especially if the character development is good and they are building toward something), I felt like there was much more that I was missing. I can barely even tell you what happened. I'll try to catch a replay on nbc.com and absorb it all, as Heroes is often best appreciated the second time around.

Journeyman - I got rudely interrupted a third of the way through this, and since I can't give feedback on the show...I have a little bit of advice for all you out there who need rides (completely out of thin air): When you call someone in the middle of a show and ask for a ride, that's one thing. I mean, work ends when it ends, and that's not necessarily your fault. However, it is then your job, and really your only job, to be waiting for them to come pick you up at the spot where you get picked up, not wander over to somewhere else, because there is plenty of time. The person in question might be in a hurry, maybe perhaps trying to get back and watch a favorite show, and might now appreciate waiting for 7 minutes in the car outside your work and feeling like a fool. Just a thought.

Later my sister and I went to Wal Mart for some late night grocery shopping. I love grocery shopping at night so much better. No one bothers you. There are stock people and pallets to navigate, but it's so peaceful. We had a run in with one of the employees, but I have been sworn to secrecy, so I can't report that incident. (At least tonight.) I mention the shopping, however, to highlight (or lowlight) that I missed the incredible play-in game between the Padres and the Rockies that went all the way until the 13th inning! I feel like such a chump. I hope ESPN classic has that baby up soon.

The Holy Quatrony

I was flipping through the channels tonight and accidentally saw the last five minutes of PAY IT FORWARD. Being a movie person, one might think that if I were going to have seen the movie I would have by now, but still; I felt cheated having it ruined for me.

I think it would be a cool feature if TV Stations had an optional "blank" page when you first turned to them, telling you what they were showing, and then you hit Enter if you're cool with that, thus taking the blank page off that station. That way you'd avoid seeing the end of movies you're looking forward too, and also avoid uneccessary Full House marathons and such.

Speaking of Flipping around, one of the things I miss the very most about Canada is randomly flipping around and finding UGN: Unexpected Gratuitious Nudity. Perhaps the greatest advantage to living in Canada was how little standards when it came to such matters. The way they justified it (and you're going to love this), is that any program with objectionable material had to have a verbal and written warning after EVERY commercial break.

[Just a bit of a tangent here, but sometimes this could be frustrating too. Let's say you were watching a 12 episode run of "The L Word." Somewhere in that season is nudity, but not in every single episode. So the warning would say "The following program may contain scenes of nudity..." I'm sorry, but that's not good enough. If I'm slogging through some indie movie or British program or whatever, I need assurances that my time and effort will be paid off then!]

The warnings were such a joke because it seems like they were being more protective than America, which usually just does the letters up in the corner, but in reality it meant far more. Showcase was a particularly great channel, showing HBO and Showtime shows, as well as European movies, and many was the Friday night when I waited for a commercial break of some lame looking movie, hoping to hear the words, "The following program may contain scenes of violence, strong language, nudity and sexuality," or what I liked to call the Holy Quatrony.

It wasn't just Showcase though that had nudity. Almost any channel could, and at any time of day. I saw naked bodies at 3:00 in the afternoon on Bravo Canada once, and CTV, which if available even to those who don't have cable was infamous for educational "sex" shows on Fridays and Saturday nights. They may have been borderline educational, but the visual aids were definitely not necessary.

But they were appreciated.

I miss you, my frozen nipply maple leafy peeps.

TV Premieres

I continue in my quest to watch every new show I can and review them for you....


TV is under a real renaissance, is it not? It is getting so that a person can barely have any life at all. You come home and there is just so much to watch! (Except Friday and Saturdays: they suck.)

Now, I know what some of you are thnking: get a life.

Fine, fine. Feel free not to watch TV. But wipe that smug expression of your face. TV at its best is high art, and some of the best art in the world is right there in that box each evening. Of course, an awful lot of crap is in that box too.

That is why you have me! I am here to give you the rundown on each of the new shows. Now, some of you may not have my taste (read: you suck), but I have tried to craft these reviews to explain what the program is like so you can figure out whether 'tis for you.

First, the ones I have recently covered:

VANISHED (Mondays on FOX)
Senator’s Wife is kidnapped; twists and turns ensue. I abandoned this after one episode.

STANDOFF (Tuesdays on FOX)
Hostage negotiators, starring the guy from Office Space. I really enjoyed the first two episodes with a breezy tone dominating rather than total tenseness, but I wonder whether the show can continue to be interesting over the weeks, and with more shows coming on board, do not know if I will hang.

JUSTICE (Wednesdays on FOX)
Very entertaining so far, with a behind-the-scenes look at a high priced defense firm. I am a huge Victor Garber fan, and I love the supporting cast so far. I also like how at the end they show you what actually happened. Wit LOST coming soon I doubt Justice stays on my radar, but I sure have enjoyed it so far.

Studio 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP (Sundays in Canada, Mondays on NBC)
The best of all the new shows I have thus seen, and the second episode was better than the first. I cannot recommend this show highly enough. Behind the scenes of a Saturday Night Live-type show, Studio 60 is funny but really is a drama. You can already pencil in an Emmy nomination for Matthew Perry, and I bet a Best Drama nomination too (among many others). This is the show. Last night’s episode included a musical number with the term “Intellectual Reach-around.” If you cannot get into a show that uses the term “Intellectual Reach-around,” you and I are just very different people.

Here are the new shows, in a generally improving trend. (Make sure you read until the end, for the last review premieres tonight!)

BROTHERS AND SISTERS (Sundays on ABC)

Calista Flockhart as a conservative TV pundit. If you can believe that, you can probably buy the show. Actually, I do can make it even simpler than that. Brothers and Sisters airs right after Desperate Housewives. If you can still stomach that show, this is probably right up your alley.

Maybe I am too harsh. The story of a grown up family of brothers and sisters (and of course mom and dad and even a screwy uncle) is riddled with a talented cast. Besides Flockhart, there is Rachel Griffith, Tom Skerritt, Ron Rifkin and Sally Field. Maybe it will get better, but I’m guessing one time through is enough to let you know what you are getting.

BOTTOM LINE: Go ahead. I doubt I will be joining you.

JERICHO (CBS)

Could not sit through it. You are on your own.

SHARK (Thursdays on CBS)

My mom called this before the second commercial break: “House in a Courtroom.” Well, not exactly, but close enough.

James Woods is the prototypical “Shark” Defense lawyer. He gets his client off for Attempted Murder on the client’s wife. That night…wait for it….the man actually kills the wife.

Nine months later Woods is in a tailspin, his guilt not allowing him to practice law anymore. Luckily, the mayor shows up. Tired of rich people getting away with murder in L.A., they are starting a new “high profile crime” unit, and guess who the mayor wants to lead it?

The lawyers assigned are all misfits; washed out everywhere else. Then there is the D.A. (Jeri Ryan, no longer smoking hot but still very pretty), who resents this shark in her waters.

BOTTOM LINE: If you like Law shows, definitely worth a look. Otherwise, it depends on whether you like procedurals, Woods, or Six Degrees.

SIX DEGREES (Thursdays on ABC)

New York is a city of 8 million we are told (actually closer to 17 million, but let that pass for now). In this…behemoth of a city, several people’s lives connect in eerie ways. As in an “only in a TV show where someone is writing the script” sort of way. It was kind of cool to see Erika Christensen again, although she always looks so different. The show stretches credulity to an eye-rolling degree, but then again, pretty much with all TV you have to do that.

Again, let me help you out: Six Degrees comes on after Grey’s Anatomy, and I am guessing if you like the one, you will like the other. I am not comparing the two, quality-wise, but they are somewhat similar in tone.

My favorite part was arguing with my sister over whether a man had good intentions to his girl. Bridget Moynahan (who is no longer so young; more on that another time) asks her boyfriend to marry her. He says yes, but then she finds his picture on a singles website. His explanation is that the office interns did it as a joke. Yeah right. No way would he not tell her about that. She is distrustful and sets up a “meet” with a perfect girl. He shows up, only to have a ring (which he was denied giving her when she asked him).

At this point, my sister counted coup, believing that her faith in the man had been borne out. Only in the last two seconds do we see I was right all along, and that was one sweeeeeeet gloat, my friends.

BOTTOM LINE: Worth a look or two if you are not done watching TV after CSI or Grey’s (or, uh, even Deal or No Deal).

KIDNAPPED (Wednesdays on NBC)

The other kidnapping show, this one takes the old Law & Order time slot. 800X better than Vanished, I was super impressed by the pilot.

Part of it may be the cast. The always delicious (and one of the top five hotties over 50) Dana Delany is married to Timothy Hutton, looking decided middle aged. Add to that Jeremy Sisto (the dude from CLUELESS who was missing his Cranberry CD), my main man Delroy Lindo and….Bubba Gump! (without the lip thingy). I know: awesome.

The deal is that Timothy Hutton and Dana Delany are rich people…rich people with secrets! (Dun Dun Dun!) Their son with a heart problem is kidnapped. They call a K&R guy (Sisto) to get him back. Unfortunately, the FBI gets wind of matters, and they get involved too.

The problem with the FBI getting involved with a kidnapping case is that they not only want to secure the return of the hostage, but catch the perpetrators. This can contradict with returning the kid. Thus the conflict.

BOTTOM LINE: I have not seen every last-hour time-slot show on Wednesday yet, but so far, this one is a winner.

SMITH (Mondays in Canada, Tuesdays on CBS)

I am not saying we have the second coming of Tony Soprano, or even the anti-heroes of The Shield, but I will say this: I do not think Network TV has ever had a show that followed actual bad guys.

Oh yes: actual bad guys.

This “crew” is not all Ocean’s 11. More like HEAT. In the first episode, people get killed. Security guards and people who keep one of the bad guys from surfing! (You gotta love a dude who would murder over beach rights.)

The main bad guy is Ray Liotta, and his wife is played by Virginia Madsen, the woman from SIDEWAYS with the super-sexy voice. The money to front the operations comes from Shohreh Aghdashloo, who some of you may know was nominated for an Oscar in THE HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG, and some of you may remember as the hot mom terrorist in Season 4 of 24.

BOTTOM LINE: I am a little worried that some of the supporting characters may be a bit blah, but I am so excited to see actual bad guys on a network TV show, that I am going to be watching Smith as long as I can.

HEROES (Mondays on NBC)

Remember the first 10 minutes of the original X-Men movie, before the school, the spandex, and the spiffy one-liners? When we were just moving around the world watching people, outcasts really, trying to come to terms with their “powers”?

That is NBC’s new Sci-Fi show Heroes. (At least the first hour, in what I should warn you is a cliffhanger. I was quite set up when NBC sent me the pilot for preview purposes, but a tad miffed when it just started going good and the dreaded “To Be Continued” appeared on screen.

But I suppose it should be accounted a good thing that I was drawn in, eh? The theory, not really explained in more than a psychobabble intro, is that the human genome project has revealed that with just a fraction of mutation the next step of human evolution is right around the corner.

I know what you are thinking: can Wolverine be far behind? I have no idea where they are going with this, but I gather it will be more “ordinary people do extraordinary things” than nicknames that sound like American Gladiator tryouts.

In the first hour, we meet our presumable protagonists. One might be able to tell the future. One can break every bone and have it heal almost immediately. One can…uh, talk to herself in the mirror. And one—who has to be everyone’s initial favorite—can bend the fabric of space and time, which translates to teleportation. His first test: a woman’s restroom at a crowded nightclub.

See: you like him already.

And if you are not convinced, what if I added that the kid is chubby, nerdy, Japanese, convinced he is the second coming of Spock, and unlike everyone else who seems to be freaked out by these new discoveries, honestly cheerful and cool with it all.

I told you he was cool.

A show like Heroes is obviously contrived, but no more so than CSI. (C’mon: do you really think science nerds solve all those crimes? That show is as much sci-fi as BSG, and if you think the techies do collect evidence with their perfect hair hanging everywhere….) NBC does not have a great track record with Sci-Fi. In fact, the last show even approaching Sci-Fi was the Misfits of Science. (Anyone old and cool enough to remember that? Just me, huh?)

Heroes will work if the characters have some sort of chemistry and if the storylines feel important enough but not too self-important, all while avoiding too much X-Men cribbing. Already there are some plot lines that seem darkly interesting, but only time will tell.

BOTTOM LINE: Along with Studio 60, Heroes makes Monday night potentially the most interesting on TV.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Every now and then, a new TV show comes around that could really be something special. It is pretty hard to tell just from a first episode, of course. Usually pilots are different from the rest of the series. Changes are made. The cast has to gel, feel their way into characters. But sometimes you can tell. You could tell with CSI, now, what—7 years ago? I could tell with Lost and House almost immediately. Tonight a new show premieres on NBC: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. It might—just might—be one of those shows.

The show is about an SNL-type show, behind the scenes. The cast will most likely be pretty big, but the two main characters are Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford. For West Wing Fans, Bradley was Josh Lymon. Imagine Josh, but with a recovering coke problem.

As for Matthew Perry…you know how Chandler was by far the funniest of the Friends, but like Phoebe’s one time boyfriend Rog said, “I’d hate to be there when the laughter stopped.” You always knew Chandler’s humor was his mask to hide the pain.

Imagine all that pain brought to the surface. The humor is still there, but gone are the attempts to hide behind one-liners. Mark it down: Matthew Perry absolutely without a doubt will receive an Emmy Nomination for his character.

Chandler and Josh (I have not yet learned their Studio 60 names, so bear with me) are a talented big time writing/directing team. Four years ago, they were fired from Studio 60, that SNL-type show I was telling you about.

But tonight big things have happened, and they are called back to save the show. What are these big things? Well, that I do not want to ruin for you, as it is a pretty great TV moment, but let us just say that if the name Paddy Chayefvsky means anything to you, a treat is in store.

Even if it is not, you are in for an interesting ride. Creator Aaron Sorkin seems to know what goes on behind the scenes of a TV show. Not only has he created big shows before (like West Wing), but he actually had a show in the past about a TV show: Sports Night. (A show so good but so overlooked that I feel compelled to review the DVDs later in the week.)

If none of those shows ring a bell, where have you been the last few years? You should at least recognize Sorkin from The American President. He is known for his rapid-fire dialogue in talented enemble casts.

The only reservatin I had was Amanda Peet. I have always found her totally devoid of any talent other than taking off her clothes on Camera, and she seems way too young and stupid to be that awesome. However, Hyperion will reserve judgement, for a while. I have a feeling the rest of the cast should make up for her, which you can read about here.

What else can I say? If Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip works, it could be the show everyone is talking about this year. Hey, I am all for well-made procedurals (same type of show each week) and I love well-made cop shows. And I love the genre stuff if it rocks. But when is the last time we had a mainstream ensemble with this level of talent? Not since the heyday of West Wing. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip could be to Television what West Wing was to politics, LA Law was to, well, lawyers, what ER was to hospitals, what Pat Robertson was to all things evil.

Okay, that last one was a joke. But Pat Robertson actually comes up in the pilot, as does the insanity that is the FCC everytime someone dares to mention a controversial subject matter.

ACCCCCHHHHH!

I must stop, or I will reveal the entire plot. Look: just watch it, okay? I do not have much to live for these days, and it would make me feel good if I got at least some of you to do the right thing for once.

Eureka

US Marshall Jack Carter (could his name be an homage?) is transporting a dangerous fugitive (a teenage girl, who happens to be his daughter) back home when he stumbles into the town of Eureka. Definitely off the beaten path, the town exists for Next Generation Genii to gather to better humankind. (Note: most of the advances in technology and military hardware over the last 68 years are because of this town.)

Of course, with that many super geniuses (I just feel better than genii; sorry), there are bound to be unexplained explosions, rocks in the temporal plane, rips in the fabric of space-time, and all sorts of other wacky adventures for the Marshal (now Sheriff) to find himself in each week.

Basically think of the quirky kind of personalities in a town like Stuckeyville (Ed), Cicely Alaska (Northern Exposure) Stars Hollow (Gilmore Girls) or any of the other strange little TV towns we have come to love, combined with the more offbeat adventures Scully and Mulder had when they went off the Reservation to investigate Monster of the Week.

This is not to say there is no arc to the series, but I have a feeling you could jump right in the next time you see Eureka advertised and you would be just fine. The acting is about what you would expect and the budget is not great, but that is not why you watch a show like this, is it?

In America on the Sci-Fi Channel, in Canada on Space.

Fox's Tuesday Night LIneup

Finally got to see the Season Premiere of House last night (actually early this morning, but who's counting?) I wondered how they were going to handle the inevitable relapse of his injury. I thought they rushed it just a tad (could have waited an episode or two), but seeing how FOX is taking all of their shows off the air for an extended period of time (the Major League Baseball playoffs), maybe the producers felt they needed to get in as quickly as possible.

I did like the drug addict angle, and the idea that HOUSE has to have the "highs," whether it's the drugs or the crazy-ass experiments on patients.

Finally, what's up with Cameron's hair? My sister Jerrica and I both HATED IT. We hated it like Ajax hates Yoda: purely and with vigor.

(The hair above I would sleep with. The new hair? I can't even post a picture, but if you must see it, go to: http://www.fox.com/house/)

On to Standoff.

Kaida told me the show lacked pop, but I rather think she watched it with the sound down. In the first five minutes Hostage Negotiator Matt

(played by Ron Livingston of OFFICE SPACE, or, if you're not that cool, Carrie's boyfriend on Sex in the City) tells the hostage (and the rest of the Hostage Rescue team), that he's sleeping with his Negotiator Partner Emily, played by Rosemarie DeWitt. (DeWitt looks and acts so much like a younger Dana Delany I have to ask: why not just cast Dana Delany? Oh yeah: the age difference. It must just suck to be a woman in Hollywood.)

(Add ten years, a breast job, and this is your life Rosemarie!)

Anyway, this little "slip" puts Matt and Emily in huge trouble with their boss and coworkers, and might (just might) compromise their working relationship. (Uh...ya think?) It seems like if you ever wanted two people to be dispassionate, it'd be Hostage Negotiators!

I found the quasi-Moonlighting tone to be a bit weird, and setting up the friction (the Hostage Negotiators always want to talk, the tactical team always wants to force a confrontation) to be fake.

However, that's how Procedural shows work. You establish stereotypes of the job, and hopefully move past that if the show can develop.

Anyway, Once Tuesday night gets rolling Standoff may get the axe, but for now it's a decent follow up to my favorite show on TV.

Cable Guy Part 2

So I told you about how my dad called the Cable people on the 19th and said we'd be turning off our cable on the 27th (the last day of the pay period for the cable). He gave them the notice because of how notoriously inefficient the Cable Company is, and that way they could hopefully have their act together enough to have the cable off by the 27th. (Most people wouldn't have told them until the 27th, hoping to get a few days of free cable until they turned it off, but dad just has to be honest....jerk.)

Anyway, on the 20th, they turn it off! Since when are they that efficient...ever? After several back and forth phone calls they said they'd turn it back on early Friday morning.

This was too late for me, as I was going to miss British Open coverage for the day (and Tiger shot a 65!), but I guess things could be worse.

Come Friday morning, the cable wasn't on. My dad kept calling them all day, and they gave him the mighty runaround. Several times they claimed the cable had been turned on. (It hadn't.) Several times they claimed it would be done at noon. Sometimes they had confirmation. (They didn't.) Sometimes it was because we hadn't rescanned our TVs. (We had.)

Dad kept calling home to see if it was on, as the day crept more and more into midafternoon. Finally, this stunning series of events.

I get a call from someone (who probably figured out my dad wasn't at home and wanted to hide from him), apologizing for the mess. I told the dude he had the wrong man. "My dad is a pretty patient person." I said. "What evil must thou have committed to make him so ired?"

Anyway, this guy claimed the cable would be turned on that afternoon or early evening. Okay.

Not three minutes later I get a call from another man in the company, who assured me the cable had been turned on, but it might not have been done correctly because it was by an outside guy. (Why would you use outside guys if it wasn't done correctly?)

I told this dude, the cable definitely wasn't on. It was, he assured me ,but I had to rescan. I told him I'd tried that twice. He seemed scared, so I told him one of his colleagues had just called and promised they'd be out that afternoon or early evening.

"Really?" he said, mystified. "Oh, okay. Well, if he doesn't show up, the next date I can have someone out...." I didn't like the word "date." I preferred "time."

The guy looked over his log: "The next date is the 20th." Giant pause.

"Uh, dude, that's yesterday!"

"Really? Well, the next date I can have someone come out would be the 25th."

I shuddered, wondering if my dad could make it that long. Wondering if the cable guys could live that long. I considered giving him a warning to get out of town, but decided the world had to be better with one less cable guy who couldn't tell the difference in his log book between the future and the past. So I let it go.

Oh, and the cable finally did come back on. And Tiger won, in no small part because I watched him. So all's well...for now.

Edited Movies on TV

But they will never take.....our swear words!!!!!

Reaction to TV finales

I finally saw the LOST finale early this morning, and this evening I saw Season 2 Battlestar Galactica Finale. Except for My Name is Earl (which doesn't really count, as a comedy), this catches me up. I think I may do a top ten list of Season Finales, if not this year (haven't seen enough) then all-time.

Brief thoughts: (SOME POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD)

Alias and West Wing - Once proud shows that got so far off track even I had to bail. I may catch the final seasons on DVD some day, but the whole thing makes me sad. My dad tells me West Wing ended well, at least. Sniff sniff.

The Unit - I enjoyed the show, and at times (read: David Mamet-written and directed episodes) The Unite went from good to great. But the finale was weak and I'm unsure what they are going to do with this show. They seem caught between procedural and serialization, the new Hybrid, and that's tough ground to straddle.

Grey's Anatomy - I got out of this show in February. I enjoyed it more and more each week, but I was trying to cut as much TV down as possible, and I cut all of Sunday night. I did see the finale. Izzy drives me nuts, and I hate George's hair cut. Never did like Meredith.

CSI - I've already written extensively about this one.

Prison Break - I lost a good deal of interest in the show once it came back from hiatus, but I have to say the finale was very well done. I was shocked that they (apparently) killed the doctor with the OD. I figured she'd be in the break. My dad thinks they didn't kill her and she'll still be a big player next season. Hard to know if they can keep the momentum, but I wish them well.

24 - I've written about this too, and how a jerk ruined it for me. I got quite a lot of mail on the decision about whether to tell his wife of his infidelity. Ajax in particular was strongly against my actions. Ajax pointed out to me that if I knew the girl personally, felt strongly about the sanctity of marriage or felt the family was in emotional harm that'd be one thing, but just as revenge...that's quite a wrecking ball to throw on a marriage.

He's right, of course. I don't know the wife, but wish her no ill will, and to do something like that just because I'm pissed over a TV show would be wrong; not because it's too stern of a reaction (for all I'm concerned the guy can drop dead, and if he's reading this: "If you ever mess with me again I will ruin your life"), but because I'm hurting that girl who did nothing to me. I was never really going to do it, I was just mad when I wrote that and that's what a blog is supposed to be: your honest reactions to your daily life. Don't know if I'll watch the finale now or not.

House - I wrote about this earlier in the week but didn't post my thoughts. Sometimes when I don't protect myself when I write, and lay myself out there, vulnerable. I mean, to make yourself vulnerable is the only way to become a better writer, but I need to be more careful. So I'll leave it at this: not a normal episode, but very impressive to me. If you haven't watched House I can't recommend buying or renting Season 1 highly enough.

Battlestar Galactica - I have been so impressed with the dark tone this series has taken from the beginning ,and the willingness to hurt their characters emotionally and physically. It really feels like they are experiencing war and the bad decisions that go with it, more than playing out their roles.

That said, I haven't liked every move they've made, although mostly that's because as a fan you get in your mind where you'd like the story to go. All you can really ask is that the writing and acting is good and the stories fresh and compelling. The finale threw a huge left curve toward the end, but when the end reveal came I could see what they're trying to set up. Season 2 was inferior to Season 1 (perhaps because of more episodes = thinner storylines?), but still better than most else out there. I must write a MovieHype about the DVDs soon.

LOST - Blood and Bloody ashes, there simply is nothing on TV like Lost, is there? When it's all said and done, I think watching Season 2 of Lost straight through on DVD will make it as good if not better than Season 1. The problem is that Lost is so dense, with so many layers and hidden meaning, that you really need to watch it consistently. ABC ran so many repeats, and without much logic, that it was hard to pick up a rhythm. They'd run three repeats and then a new one, and then two more repeats and then a new one. Can't do that with Lost. Hopefully Season 3 will take care of that, as they are running 7 straight in the fall, then going on hiatus for a new show until February or so, then running straight through again.

Anyway, the finale: I've talked to a few who felt, well, lost, but I didn't have that problem. Yes, many more questions than answers were raised, but if you examine where we are now to where we were at the beginning of the season, an extraordinary amount of plot has transpired in what I keep reminding myself is only about 2 months of actual island-time.

Giving Desmond's backstory was a brilliant masterstroke to explaining the hatch (at least, partly), and that "partner" of his...did you notice that was the guy who interrogated Sayid? And how did Desmond's girl know to look for him? Does someone else know he's there? Is that girl's father connected to the Hanso Foundation and Dharma?

Speaking of the Hanso, I was fast forwarding through the commercials, so almost missed it, but did you see the Hanso commercial? It was (http://hansocareers.com/) and I think there is also a Hanso Foundation (http://www.thehansofoundation.org/). The creators of Lost have gone to so much trouble to dribble out facts. I love it; just wish I had more time.

Anyway, even if it's maddening, Lost was hands-down the best final of the this season. Slow-building and yet explosive. Tense and exciting, advancing the plot an absurd degree (for them), and yet leaving so many questions I can hardly wait for fall.

I just hope I have a TV by then.

WWJBD?

I was so busy work that I didn’t get to watch the 24 Finale last night. I was going to tape it, and then someone sent me the details, ruined them.

I am so pissed off right now. I don’t even know if I will watch it now. How hard is it for people to be careful when it comes to TV shows or a movie or something? To put a warning up if they are going to write something, or just inquire before shooting off their mouth?

What makes matters worse is that I told this person I hadn’t watched it, and they sent me the details anyway. What makes people do that? Do they think it’s funny? I certainly don’t.

The Diabolical part of me wants to get back at him. I know for a fact that he’s cheated on his wife. I stayed out of it because I don’t really know her and I didn’t think it was my place. Not my life. But I’m so pissed about him ruining 24 that I’m tempted to tell his wife.

What would Jack Bauer do?

Thoughts on the CSI Finale

I just got to watch the CSI season finale. (PLOT SPOILER DISCUSSED SOON.) I have to say that overall it wasn’t that great an episode. After last week with Brass getting shot I expected much more. Not to mention the website I was touting that had all those clues! That was such a cool site, but most of it came to naught. What’s up with that?

Also, last week Warrick had his drama with his new wife, and then they just drop it? (And can I say that Warrick is ten times boring now that he’s married?)

This week they really didn’t even have any interesting cases. Both of the cases turned out to be accidents, and while it was interesting to see the people under stress (especially Warrick’s weird attack on the sister of that guy who died), this was done so much better in last season’s final episode directed by Quentin Tarrantino.

Of course, what everyone will be talking about is the ending, which revealed Grissom and Sara have a relationship! Because they are apparently in a hotel, and this is the first we’ve seen it, I think we can reasonably infer that their relationship is a secret. That could bode well for drama in the future, if it all comes out.

I wrote a column almost three years ago where I advocated not fulfilling romantic desires in a show like CSI. The column is surprisingly good (hint hint): Here is one part, dealing with what we’re talking about:

The Unrequited Love Theory
The best monster movies wait as long as possible to show you their creature; knowing that whatever you come up with in your imagination is worse than anything they can film. The same works with TV, in a different way. Based on the earlier Conflict Theory, it is almost always better for characters not to get together romantically. Sometimes the whole show is based on love, but even then, it’s better if the love stories don’t work out, at least not for very long. I hear so many people (read: women) wish for certain characters to have relationships (in the business these people are called “shippers”). They want the happy ending. Everyone does. But in an ongoing TV show, this is death. Like I wrote, all drama is based on conflict, and once the conflict is resolved, there goes the tension of the drama. As much as you might hate this, you know it to be true. The best shows are where it doesn’t work out for the characters, and you’re so frustrated at his/her inability to get the girl or keep the guy that you could scream. That’s what makes serialized TV so great, and that’s what keeps us watching.

I definitely hold to that, but like I wrote on Monkey Barn two weeks ago, the show is almost to the point where it will start receding in the public consciousness if it doesn’t do something, so while I love Grissom and loathe Sara, I’m on board.

One other note: Probably the best scene in CSI history (not Tarrantino-related) is when Grissom talks to this doctor (who’s getting away with murder) about being attracted to a younger colleague. Gris goes on about new life from a younger woman, and how he couldn’t take the risk to his career even though he wanted to. We pan back to see Sara watching through the two-way mirror. Just powerful stuff.

Okay, I guess I have two more notes: I also caught the end of the episode where Sara is pulled over for DUI. They’d been building this all that season. Sara’s meltdown was partly because she made her pitch to Grissom and he rejected her, and partly of her screwed up childhood (which we finally found out about in that great mental institution episode this year). Anyway, Grissom comes to take her home, and I think that’s the start of their relationship, or at least led to it. Just my opinion.