Monday, July 30, 2007

Simpson Movie QODs

Through luck, sheer guile and most of internal combustion engine from a '63 Plymouth I was able to see THE SIMPSONS MOVIE last night. However, after that there was a raucous dinner (itself worthy of at least one comment), and I find myself now so tired and drained as to be unable to put into words what I want to say about the film. I've been waiting for 18 years for last night, and it was (in case you couldn't tell) important to me, and I actually have things to say, so perhaps you'll forgive me if I hold off on my review until the morrow.

However, I did want to give you the Questions of the Day we had at dinner, which you are welcome to answer yourself in the Comments. In honor of the movie we had a Simpsons Theme.

  • Question #1 - What was your favorite Couch Gag?
  • Question #2 - If you were making a movie with Spider-Pig, what would it be called?
  • Question #3 - If you had to have carnal knowledge with one same-gender Springfield resident, whom would it be?

My sister Jerrica said she liked the "real life" intro. She would call her movie I KNOW WHAT SPIDER-PIG DID LAST SUMMER and she'd be all over Sherry Bobbins.

Our Server Samantha (more on her another time; that girl was a piece of work) liked the M.C. Escher Couch Gag, would call her movie SPIDER-PIG SAVES ATLANTIS (she liked the idea of S.P. using his corkscrew tail to propel himself through the water, as well as other facets), and she'd lower the lights with Malibu Stacy. (The doll or the woman who inspired it? Of that Samantha was unclear....)

As for me, I loved it when the Couches came alive and attacked everyone in town. I don't see how I could get away with not making I WAS A TEENAGE SPIDER-PIG, and as for the sex, I'm not into that sort of thing. Well, maybe.......

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Things I'm Inexplicably upset about


1. Why are Golden Raisins not the "standard" raisins? They are unarguably the better raisin, and yet people find the need to treat them as "brown" raisins' ugly little brother. This is just crazy to me.

2. Why does WGN, a Chicago station, advertise their programming with Eastern times? I mean, I know most of their audience is in the Eastern Time Zone, but I thought that Chicagoans were a little touchy about taking a back seat to New Yorkers. Why does the Central Time Zone not rise up in anger over this, and while they are doing so, demand their programming at the same time as the rest of the country? See, this is why I will never live in the Central Time Zone. I've been in Pacific, Mountain and Eastern, but those Centrallies are just wusses.

Monday, July 09, 2007

USA Today's Sports Scandals

As you will recall, once a week USA Today ranks the Top 25 somethings of the last 25 years. A few weeks ago I felt the need to take their Top 25 Sports Moments to task, and especially admonished the articles author, Miss Rachel Shuster. (I was later forced to apologize to the same Miss Shuster when she pointed out that she merely summarized each entry instead of deciding them.)

Well, it seems our Miss Rachel Shuster has learned the error of her ways. Some might call it coincidence. Some might point out the above paragraph, how she has nothing to do with actually making the picks. I? I like to think it's a little something called "Miss Rachel Shuster Googles herself and journeys to the Hyperion Institute to read a fabulous article." That's right. I'm taking sole credit for the relative goodness of this week's USA Today list. And while I have some minor quibbles with the rankings (OJ, Kobe and Len Bias should be higher), I really am overall mightily impressed. And since I always give credit where credit is due, we salute Miss Rachel Shuster for learning from her time at the Institute!

(Seriously: it's a pretty good list, with some, um, great summaries. Do check out her choices.)

Monday, July 02, 2007

The Prince and Me

I was flipping channels last night and came across Prince William and Prince Harry on stage. I stopped for a moment, curious what was going on. (I didn't know they were doing the 10 Year anniversary tribute of Diana's death. I mostly didn't know this because she died close to September I think in 1997, I'm going to guess and say September 29, and the 10 years aren't there yet, but July 1 was her birthday, so this makes sense, I guess.)

Anyway, all I heard was this little grammatical gem (and I'm paraphrasing ever so slightly, but believe me; I got the important part correct):

Prince William: "....and we want to thank you all for allowing Harry and I to be here tonight...."

Did you see it? Allowing Harry and I??????

This drives me crazy. Galvonically, it's something that only educated people do. Well, slightly educated. They are taught so fiercely about saying "Harry and me" that they change any instance, even when the "Harry and me" would be appropriate!

People, in case you're confused: take out the other person and try the sentence that way. Would you ever say, "...want to thank you for allowing I to be here tonight..."????

Of course not. It sounds ridiculous that way. I actually hear quite a few people on TV say this, and it always drives me nuts.

But what makes me even more upset is how the handlers let William go out with a cue-card that said this grammar, or if he had memorized the speech, why someone didn't correct him ahead of time!

I had to turn the channel almost immediately. It made me cringe to think about that boy embarrassing himself. I thought of how they'd make fun of him today on cable news and talk shows.

Even worse: maybe no one will make fun of him, because no one even noticed.

Now there's a scary thought.