Sunday, March 29, 2009

Speak No Evil

I've decided to give up speaking aloud.

Until Easter. At least.

If you must communicate with me, email me. Write on my Wall on Facebook. IM me. Send me an ecard.

smoke signals.


But no speaking.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Prisoners of TIME

Prisoners of TIME

We are Prisoners of TIME.

Not having the first idea what it means,
Not understanding that it is Not TIME that enslaves us, but that
Our very idea of what Time is what
Shackles us,
Limits us,
Defines our lives in every way possible.

We are Prisoners of TIME, and we do not even know it.

Oh, we know that we live by the Clock,
Rushing to and fro in an endless maze,
Desperate to make this meeting or that Soccer Game, and
God forbid if we forgot to set the TiVo for Idol.

But these things are not Prison. These things are
Little children playing at dress-up in their parents' clothes,
Going through the motions and repeating things they've heard,
With only the vaguest Clue of what they mean.

We are Prisoners of TIME because we do not understand what
TIME is, and more importantly, what it is not.
Check Spelling

We think of TIME as a Dimension, a Duration, a Reality;
Part of our Physical World.

It is none of these things.

If we knew what TIME really was, we would not believe it.

So, we hold to our Construct. We accept the World as it is presented to us.

We stay in our Prison, never even glancing at the Iron Door,
Never noticing the Key already in the Latch, just
Waiting to be turned and

Set us Free.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Here I go again

out About to head out to a surprise birthday party (60th) for my dad. I have him, and am responsible for getting him there.

This is either going to be a huge success, or you will be reading about me on CNN. There's really no in-between.

More later.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

World's Biggest Dwarf

Yesterday I took my sister to get some food. We passed a Chick-Fil-A, and my cravings overcame me. Remembering my brother's ruling that a "Dwarf House" wasn't fast food, I turned in.

(In case you're not familiar, the Chick-Fil-A Dwarf House restaurants all have Dwarf this one:)

So, anyway, as we pull in, I notice that it's a regular Chick-Fil-A, looks like most stand-alone restaurants. Jerrica hasn't noticed this yet, and so I try one last loophole.....

"Have you ever heard of an eight foot dwarf?"

Sadly, no. The Chick-Fil-A drought goes on.

Facebook saves the Day....or does it?

Last night I was on my way to the library (itself a post that will probably never get written) when I suddenly remembered that today was the planned Julianne Moore List. I had not mentioned it to A.B. in weeks, and I was afraid that by the time I got home she would be unavailable.

I happened to have a borrowed cell phone on me. I called (from Georgia) out to Bear, working in Seattle. (He was my first choice because he's reliable, and because it was 7:00 my time, and he was the only one I could think of who might still be at work.)

I explained to Bear what I needed him to do. "Go to Facebook. Go to me. Look up my Friends. Go to A.B." (Bear doesn't know her.) "Message A.B. that I'm away from a computer but tomorrow is the Julianne Moore post, and I should be home about 8:30, so she shouldn't make plans."

This is more or less what I said. You know, I'm hot and I'm tired and stressed; I can't remember word for word.

Well, THIS is the forwarded Message A.B. sent me later. This is what my "friend" Bear sent:

I'm writing this message for Hyperion. He says that he is away from a computer until 8:30 p.m. Eastern, but he just remembered that tomorrow is the Julianne Moore post, so he wanted to remind you that, in case you had other plans like going out whoring (his words, not mine!).

I tell you the truth: there is no honor in the world. Bear's just lucky he's clear across the country.....

(On the plus side, is Facebook taking over the world or what? I've been working on a huge series of columns about this, but I never have time to finish it, because I'm always on Facebook!)

Monday, March 09, 2009

Lentils Update

An update on my goal to give up 7 things for Lentils.

CHIPS - They are all over the house, so there has been some frustration, especially the other day when I had Subway (love Love LOVE to put chips in my sandwiches), but overall not too bad.

- Piece of Cake, although I kinda feel that I okie-doked Lentils. I've been drinking a lot of iced tea lately, the idea was more to give up sugar in beverages than mere soda. Still...Rome wasn't built in a day.

- Shockingly easy. I spent a lot of time doing online jigsaw puzzles (while listening to podcasts, or to just give me time to think), but I have been able to use podcast "downtime" more constructively, and the less thinking I do, perhaps the better .

- Not that tough, and I have some not five feet from my bed. Part of it may be that I had been on overload in the weeks leading up to Lentils.

- My family Vetoed this virtually on Day 1, for them more than even me. I ended up relenting (I'm nothing if not reasonable), and substituting "Using the Socratic Method to Teach." I FIRMLY believe that if you puzzle something out--even with help--you'll learn better, but I have to admit there is probably part of me that just likes lording knowledge over people, so until Lentils is over, I have been trying not to make people guess or work it through. (But I am right that it's better. Lazy people......)

RE-RUNS ON TV - This one is so tough! I haven't sat down to watch any program, butI realized that's not really how I watch re-runs. I tend to do five minutes here or there, or between commercials, and a couple of times I have caught a minute or two, arguing with myself if I have actually "seen" the episode or not. Biggest regret: not making a Simpsons exception.

- Murder. Absolute murder. The other day I took my sister to Arby's, and they had this new Arby's "burger." I cannot tell you how much I wanted to try it. Even more difficult: Chick-Fil-A. I ALWAYS want Chick-Fil-A, but lately my cravings have hit astronomical levels. I tried telling myself that if I go in and sit down it's not fast food, but in my heart I know it would be. This one may kill me yet.

Saturday, March 07, 2009