Loose and Lively

Koz and the family were passing through town (like a tumbleweed, or possibly a monorail salesman) last night, and they deigned to stop and have a quick bite at McDonalds with me. I had not seen the boy, Storm, in over a year. He was two then, and four now, and I did not think he would remember me. He did, however, proclaiming, “You’re the one who had those tacos and you wouldn’t give me one, even though I like tacos….alot!”

Now that’s a memory!

I shamelessly pulled the “what’s that behind you?” trick in order to steal Storm’s fries, until Koz taught him the ways of Fry-theft. Koz berated me for stealing a four-year old’s fries, and I felt bad until the Contest. Storm wouldn’t eat his food, and his mom Teela said that he wouldn’t get to play with the prize (a Bumblebee Transformer) unless every bite of that hamburger disappeared. Ever the helpful chap, I offered to race the kid with my double cheeseburger; winner gets the transformer.

It wasn’t as if I was going to win; I was just helping Koz and Teela get their son to eat his food. However, the little monster cheated! Every time he thought no one was looking he would spit some of the hamburger out into the wrapper, and at the end, he stuffed the final third in the wrapper and closed it up with a loud “All done!”

I feel no qualms about stealing those fries.

This was also the first time I got to see the newest member of Team Koz: seven-month-old Rhythm. (She’s going to have a blast playing Tag as a kid; running around yelling, “Rhythm’s gonna get you….tonight!”)

Now, you all know that I am on record as saying that all babies look the same: ugly and wrinkled, and gods forbid they hold up their end of a decent conversation.

However, by about six months, babies can begin to look almost human, and I have to admit that Rhythm was one of the least ugly babies I have seen in awhile, enough so that I started to make “13 year layaway program” jokes to Koz. The kid was eternally smiling about everything, which was a nice turn of events from most ladies, who cannot seem to go ten minutes without some Chick Drama. (If you are a girl and you got mad at me for saying that: QED.)

Also, Rhythm dressed like a hooker, which was nice. She had on this little Baby Gap sundress on and pretty much nothing else. I felt this was a good fashion choice, and I hope the “loose and lively” look makes its way to the higher ages. I joked with Koz that Rhythm pretty much had all the attributes a man is looking for in a woman.

“Yeah,” he said. “She’s affable, doesn’t eat much, wears revealing clothing and best of all, is silent.”

Amen.