Monday, October 13, 2008

Apprehension/Confidence heading into MNF

I realized that my opponent has one player left (QB Eli Manning) playing tonight, while I have none. On the other hand, I have a 32.5 point lead.

Obviously the Quarterback is the greatest potential scorer, and obviously 32.5 is a large amount for any one player to score.

I got curious as to what my level of Apprehension/Confidence should be. So, I made a little chart:


1 point behind to 7 point ahead - You have basically resigned yourself to losing, but somewhere in the back of your head you concoct "3 interception 2 fumble" scenarios where you might somehow win.

Ahead by 8 - 15 - You're very pessimistic about victory, but you feel a tinge of crazy hope. You obsess over the quarterback's scoring average, and pray for rain.

16 - 22 - Your gut still hurts a bit, but you feel cautiously optimistic. You still appease the football gods by employing as many reverse jinxes as possible, such as graciously conceding defeat on the message board.

23 - 32 - You feel good, but not great. You figure out exactly how those points translate (yardage and TDs), and you hope for hand-offs. You watch the game, still not able to relax until five minutes left in the fourth quarter.

33 - 41 - You're confident. One interception should do it. A quarter and a half without much scoring should do the trick as well. Somewhere in the back of your mind is that crazy thought of "what if?" but you mostly let it go. Actually, it would confirm your suspicions that the Universe is out to get you, so it's win-win.

42 - 53 - You're over-confident, cocky even. You moon the gods, and mercilessly talk trash on the Message Board. You might not even watch the game since your victory is "so in the bag."

>53 - You attempt to sleep with your opponent's wife/mother/sister/daughter

>75 - You attempt to sleep with your opponent's QUARTERBACK'S wife/mother/sister/daughter.


These statistics only apply to your opponent having 1 QB left to play in the Monday night game, although I'm sure we could produce a matrix to encompass all possibilities.

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