Reggie Bush is gone, and My Life is over

[The following is a lament about my Fantasy Football draft, which his currently underway.]

I think I figured out what my problem is. At least, what my Fantasy Football problem is.

Perhaps the only area I will allow this possibility, but I think I psyche myself out. Talk myself out of good decisions.

Sigh.

I think I think too much.

I’m sure the others in the league will disagree, but I believe I’m the best instinctive evaluator of talent, at least initially. My problem is that I get rid of the guys I know I should keep. Everyone in fantasy football says this, but consider:

Year one of our league I selected Peyton Manning and then Priest Holmes in the second round. At the time Holmes was not a known entity, and I took tremendous ribbing for taking him so early. What did Holmes do? Only run over the league for two and a half years, making him probably the best pick in my league’s history.

(I should explain that we have what’s known as a “Keeper” league, which means we get to keep up to three players from our roster from one season to the next, with the corresponding loss of draft picks in the opening rounds of the new season.)

Drafting Holmes was my masterpiece, and I’ve ridden that horse as far as I could. (I half wonder if his career-threatening injuries came about because I was riding him. Just kidding. Sort of.)

Manning had a pretty good season that first year, and then I traded him away to my friend Laureate, swindled by talk of maximizing touchdowns. Manning went on to have one of the greatest seasons in NFL history. Sigh.

Other players I’ve had I got rid of right before they went huge. I had Wide Receiver Chad Johnson, back when no one believed in him. I wasn’t patient and I got rid of him and he studded out. I had fellow Bengal Rudi Johnson, which I must admit was more luck than my good eye, and I dropped him, since I was keeping two RBs (Priest Holmes and Kevin Jones.) Holmes got hurt, but with his history was worth the risk. Jones sucked. And Rudi Johnson became another stud.

I had Priest Holmes’s back-up Larry Johnson, and again my impatience kicked in and I got rid of him. What’s the significance of that? Right now, Google “Fantasy Football Rankings.” You’ll see that Larry Johnson is the Consensus #1 pick everywhere. If only…..

It’s a weird thing to have people on your team who go on to be great later. Even if it was never a question of Keeper status (as we only get three), I often have an affinity to the people who’ve played for me. I consider them family. I get laughed at, but I’ve refused to draft players because I didn’t like them personally or their off-the-field behavior. Stupid, I know, but I’m proud of my team.

But this isn’t a post reminiscing about football. This is about my idiocy.

Last year I had this idea that Carson Palmer would be a good quarterback. But once again I outthought myself. Palmer was on nobody’s radar, and I knew I could get him much later in the draft than the 2^nd or 3^rd Round. The only thing better than drafting someone who’s not on the radar and turns out to be a fantasy stud is doing it in a much lower round.

You can already guess what happened. Another team owner drafted him. It’s my own fault, but I was blindsided because everyone who drafted before me already had quarterbacks. This guy Sandpiper—who had a stud QB—drafted Palmer on the theory of keeping him from someone else.

So anyway, during the draft last year I approached Sandpiper, and expressed interest in Palmer. What’s he do? Holds the man hostage for my top Wide Receiver Larry Fitzgerald and naked pictures of my sister. Yeah right! No way I give up Fitzgerald!

If you ask me that’s poor sportsmanship, but totally within the rules, so who am I to call him out? (Of course, this isn’t the only ethical gray area for Sandpiper, but I don’t want to run him down. He’s a good kid with a good heart, and has somehow overcome living in the shadow of a studly brother and crippling ugliness to be a contributing member of society.)

Speaking of Fitzgerald, I was back at my old tricks this year. Fitzy had a very good year last year, and I was on the fence over whether to “keep” him or give him up for the extra draft pick. For the first time—on the advice of Kaida, I want it known—I elected not to Keep anyone.

Of course Fitzgerald is one of the first guys taken, and I realized I had been a fool.

But now I think I’ve topped even myself.

Reggie Bush is the Heisman Trophy Winner from SC and expected to be a great player for New Orleans. However: no one expects Bush to be that great this year. (There’s already a great RB ahead of him.) Because of that, most Fantasy forecasting has Bush in the 5^th or 6^th Round.

When it came my turn to draft in the First Round, I got the idea to take Bush. Do I think he’s going to be super awesome this year? That’s iffy. I’ve already resigned myself to a bad season. However, Bush probably makes a great Keeper for next year, and my taking him now, I lock him up. True, I sacrifice getting a very productive player, but what a coup!

But proving I never ever (EVER!) learn, I thought to myself, “No one is going to take Reggie Bush until at least the 4^th Round. I can wait.”

I talked it over with Laureate (the swindler of a few years ago), and he counseled that it was more important to get a QB than Bush. I wanted either Palmer or Tom Brady, and was worried neither would be available by Round 2. (My own fault: If I’d known Matt Hasselbeck was also undrafted, there’s no way I don’t take Bush in Round 1, as Hasselbeck would be a great pick in Round 2 as well.)

By now you know how this works. I take Tom Brady, already excited about my Round 2 pick, the talk it will generate on the Message Board (remind me to talk about that more another day), and I even idly fantasize about how Bush might be the starter by the end of the year, and by next season I look like a genius.

And the very next guy takes Bush. Rips my heart out. I realized that every mistake I’ve ever made in Fantasy Football has come back to bite me. I’m a total idiot, a loser, and facing the prospect of losing every single game this season.

For the record, so far I’ve also drafted Anquan Boldin (Wide Receiver), and two Running Backs: Joseph Addai and Warrick Dunn. Addai might be a nice pick up but right now isn’t even the starter, which makes him a HUGE risk as a #1 back.

I had to take Running Backs, as they are far and away the most important position. It sucks with who’s available. Virtually every blue-chipper was saved as a “Keeper.”

Looking for quality Running Backs in the draft when the top 15 guys are gone is like looking to pick up a girl in a trashy bar. You end up talking yourself into the idea that this girl will work for you, swallowing the bitter lie.

I mean, she may give you a great night, but can she hang for the long haul? Doubtful. In your heart of hearts, you know a good girl wouldn’t be in a bar like this.

That’s how I feel. I’m selecting players through the smoke-filled room, desperate to find someone before last call.

Kicking myself about letting the One get away.