F**k the Irish (A guest Rant)

{I got an email last week from "Annalisa," which attempted to detail her "issues" with the cult of "Irish-Americanism." I was so impressed I asked her if I could reprint it here. Note, I absolutely do not agree with her (although neither do I disagree with her; I do not have enough personal knowledge to take a position), but the reason I was impressed was because it was such a great rant. In that vein Annalisa has actually inspired me to return Soap Box to its roots. So, without further ado.....}

I haven't seen the Departed yet because I hate Irish-Americanism. I have no problem with Irish people, but the cult of the Irish-American; their cold, dirty city (Boston) and their stupid holiday and the ridiculousness they call "culture" offends me as an American.

1. These people have some sort of claim on suffering. Really? They are the only people, other than the original WASPs who came here speaking English. My grandparents came here speaking no English and never complained about their suffering under fascist rule and as substinence
farmers. And not just Italians but Eastern Europeans, Mexicans, Asians, Arabs, Africans. You know, people who had bigger problems than some strange unionized refusal to pull up potatoes.

2. There is no actual Irish-American culture to speak of, getting really hammered and getting into fist fights was pioneered by Eastern Europeans. Soda bread? Gross, cabbage? gross. Notably things "Irish-Americans" eat one day a year and celebrate how great it is in March, if it were so great I'd be able to order it at Bennigans.

3. I think their language is entirely made up, like Klingon

4. They have taken a religious holiday and made it into a festival of drinking and buffoonery for the benefit of faux-irish bars and Guiness.

5. The Boston Red Sox were the last team to integrate. In Boston, home of abolitionism, want to know why? Because the Irish-American population made it one of the most hostile and racist cities in America. 13 years after #42 went to Brooklyn.

6. And yet they remain obsessed with their "experience", like the pathetic baby-boomers, as if it was so unique. They emigrated to America en masse and then tried to shut the borders against anyone else, they cry racism and anti-Catholicism at every chance they get when in fact they are as white as any WASP and Irish-Americans funded the IRA but now try to stop Palestinians from sending home remittances. They were dirty, did commit crimes and had too many kids. Now they are part of the establishment, but they would never admit it. They added nothing to America but Riverdance and Jameson.