Oh What a Feeling!

So,

last night I had to pee really badly, and I generally wait as long as possible because the walking being so difficult, but this is bad because each step is a jolt of pain, which, when you have to pee badly, makes it more difficult to hold it in.

So,

Trying to maximize my "walking time," I decided to warm up some soup and fill my water bottles at the same time I peed. Unfortunately, I decided to fill up two gallon-sized bottles BEFORE peeing, which really was a bad decision.

I tell you the truth: it was the closest I have EVER come to not making it.

Anyway, when I finally was able to....unload = HEAVEN.

And it got me to thinking: when you have to pee REALLY BADLY, and you finally get to....that's a pretty great feeling, you now? I'm not saying it's going to replace procreation or anything, but it's a pretty fantastic sensation.

So, I was talking to a girl after this, and happened to mention the peeing theory, and she was in agreement, but not as enthusiastic as I. Finally, I figured out the problem. "Okay," I said, "Imagine you have to pee worse than anything. Now, imagine you pee through your clitoris."

"Ahhhhhh," she said. "Now I understand."




[Anyone who has never spoken to me is now thinking I am a total pervert. Anyone who has spoken to me is not even remotely surprised. "That's just Hyperion." they say. Bastards. Why do they always have to talk about me?]