Holiday Gift List

My sister asked me last night what I wanted for Festivus/Christmas/Hannakkuh/Kwaanza/Dinosaur Present Day (Featuring T-Rex)/Winter Soltice this year. (Not to mention the anniversary of my birth, on the 31st of this month.)

I thought about it and wrote some stuff down, a partial list. I feel uncomfortable writing lists because I wish people wouldn't spend so much money on presents. I would be happy if everyone got just one present for Christmas. If we were conditioned to expect that, I think we'd enjoy it more. But whatever. If people ARE going to buy me gifts, they might as well have some clue what I like, right? And even if they are not, maybe they get some ideas for people they care about.

Anyway, below is a partial list, because some of those people might be you! I'll add to if if/when I think of anything.

Hyperion's Gift List

Wireless earphones (so I can watch TV with my fans on and not disturb anyone)
Digital pen that connects to computer, so I can write my book in pen, or at least feel like I am. (here is their website: http://flyworld.com/)
Metal pen (like this one)
Beef Jerky (duh)
This Shirt (Just kidding. It would be sweet, though, huh?)
Life-sized Snow Leopard
Sandals from zappos (they don't sell nike, but what they do have is so amazing. you should buy all your loved ones things from zappos. You know they have free overnight shipping, right? They rock. I'm going to tell them to hire me to be a pitch-man.)
Something of the Month Club - I just like the idea of getting something each month the whole year....Anything! (Is there a beef jerky of the month club? I'm googling right now.....there is! But it's so freaking expensive! These people are MONSTERS!)

This makes me wonder...are there "of the month club" websites? Yes! I just found this one: http://www.amazingclubs.com/ The coolest look like the Dinner/Movie of the month. Then I just found Delightful Deliveries. They are pushing alcohol, fruit and barbecue sauce. Who wants 12 different kinds of barbecue sauce? I have to say, these things look like rip-offs, made for people trying to be trendy or who live in Oakville. On second thought, I'm going to have to scratch this request.

I'm moving on to DVDs (obviously the movies in widescreen)
LOVE ACTUALLY
DAZED AND CONFUSED
ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD
CAPTAIN BLOOD
CITIZEN KANE
VERTIGO
REAR WINDOW
TOMBSTONE
CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF
THE TAO OF STEVE
THE USUAL SUSPECTS
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE
THE THIRD MAN
TROY (The new Director's Cut)
BEN-HUR (The new edition, with the commentaries and features)
CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON
GONE WITH THE WIND (JUST KIDDING!)


TV on DVD
House, Seasons 1-3
Carnivale, Seasons 1-2
Deadwood, Seasons 1-3
The Wire, Seasons 2-4 (own 1)
Lost, Seasons 1-3
Arrested Development, Seasons 2-3 (own 1)
Simpsons, Any Season But #8
Dick Van Dyke Show, Seasons 1-5
My So Called Life, Season 1


I have pretty awesome taste, huh?

Journalism is a proud profession

There is a war raging in Iraq, and Afghanistan increasingly becomes a problem. The border is an issue, no matter what side of the debate you are on. The weak dollar, the stock market correction, instability in Pakistan, you name it, there are many stories out there.

So what does my local paper choose to make their front page story? It's Sunday, which means they've had time to work on this story, to develop it, highlighting what they will. Is it a thought piece on the Environment? No. The soldiers (we are right next to Fort Benning) perhaps away from their families this Christmas? No. Any of the things I mentioned above? The political race for president? No and no.

What, then?

Top story was a in-depth report on what to look for when buying a large-screen tv. Plasma vs. LCD, 720 vs. 1080 (and don't forget 1080i vs. 1080p), and of course don't forget which DVD player to get too: HD-DVD or Blu-Ray.

What's worse, I read the article. I, who could not buy a TV Guide if my life depended on it, read about big-screen televisions.

I suck.

The paper sucks.

This whole country sucks.

Lost opportunities

I thought of this amazing idea the other day, involving strippers and porn stars, and even though it's not the least bit dirty, I don't think I can post it here.

But you should know that if I could....I would.