Wednesday, November 24, 2010

"I Haz" (an Epic Sick Poem)

I got to the point tonight where I knew I couldn't make it without medicine and such, but I also was at the point where there was every real possibility that I was too sick to make it to wal-greens alive. This didn't frighten me, so off I went. Wal-Greens has a drive-thru for pharmacy, and you'd have thought I asked for a TSA Screening the way they reacted when I very nicely asked if the attendant would go get me some soup. "I'm not your maid" she said.  Maid?  I was just trying to avoid walking around and dying!

Serves her right. When I got in there I was so woozy that I lay down in one of the aisles on the nice cold tile. They said they were going to call the Ambulance or police, so I got up and left.  Bastards.

But I did get the poem I think I mentioned (too tired to scan back up and see if I wrote about it). I cut out the middle verse because it made me laugh so hard that I choked on my own phlegm and anything that funny would surely piss off half the women I know...but what's left is pretty awesome, I sez.




I HAZ


I haz some Kleenex with lotion
To soothe my hurty nose
I haz some soup  to warm me
Down to my achy toes
I haz some medicine to put 
Me into peaceful slember
So Hypey goes to sleep 
Please wake me in December

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