You DON'T mess with Hyperion's Friends

A few days ago my friend (and occasional football scout) Wordnerd had a particularly nasty run-in with a co-worker. You know the type: he's attending night school to get his DoucheBag degree. The incident involved purposely not holding an elevator, and rather than confront said d'bag, Wordnerd appealed to her net-friends to curse the man properly.

There were a few misfires, but most of the curses were pretty good. And then there was mine.....

Thoughtfully, I have pasted them below. Again, keep in mind: this man is a total jack-ass.



April 27, 2009 at 5:58 pm

May sand fleas infest your underwear drawer.

May your favorite professional sports team get caught in an orgy with the team you most hates.

May your bicycle get stolen by a ten year old girl, who comes by daily to taunt you over it, and regularly kicks your ass just to maintain her dominance.

May a video of you and a goat (a literal goat) surface on You Tube.

May the goat be unattractive.

May you be raped by pit bulls.

My incontrovertible video evidence show that the pit-bull love was consensual. May this evidence show up on You Tube.

May the pit bulls be unattractive.

May you find romance online with a younger woman, who actually “gets” you, and may you eventually meet her and fall in love with her and leave your family for a shot at true happiness.

May your new love be nine months pregnant and in the hospital ready to deliver, and may you meet her mother for the first time, and realize she’s someone you hooked up with in college, the girl who’d just dropped out one day and nobody knew why, but there were rumors she was pregnant, and I think you know where I’m going with this…..

DON’T F**K WITH WORDNERD, ’cause I can make all this happen.