I generally try to only complain about things that don't matter, truly inconsequential things, which taken en masse as "meta," reveal a mocking commentary on myself and people who really do complain 24/7. It's part of my Reverse-Polarity Street Cred.
Of course, it only works if I am copacetic about the medium and big things in Life; of which I handle with varying degrees of success. I have tried hard to cultivate and earn a reputation of stoicness (stoicity? stoicallity?) when it comes to pain. It's a big part of my life, but we all got something, yes?
Lately I admit falling off the wagon. Not so much on my website(s), but on Facebook and Twitter I noticed I have been carping up a storm. I suppose legitimately people do want to know what's going on, and though I treat Status Updates as mini-theatre, it IS for giving the 411 (or with my long-windedness, the 822), and even then, I have tried to be funny, to allow the pain to be entertaining to others.
But I is done with that.
As I often like to slap into others--and as should often be slapped into me--we all got problems, but others have it worse. That doesn't de-legitimize our feelings. A bad day sucks for us, no matter where on the "Suck" scale it actually ranks. But we gotz to have perspective. Blowing off steam after a tough shift at work can be therapeutic. Do it every day and it becomes habit, infects your attitude, and almost guarantees more misery in the future.
But I digress; I was scolding me.
Yeah, I gotz me some pain, but it ain't nothin' but a thing, compared to some. Just read an update about a friend of mine; from his wife. Why hasn't the friend bothered to keep people informed? Oh, he's been in the hospital for four weeks, in so much pain he doesn't know where he is or what's going on.
Maybe, if it's not too much trouble, I can manage to shut the fuck up about my own whatever, and focus on others. Maybe, if I can get around to it, I can remember that there are so many less fortunate and if I have absolutely nothing better to do, maybe I can even help someone else out sometime.
But at least I can do the shut up part.
From here on, I will cease complaining about pain. (Semironically, I have been working on a column on pain, but I think there are big-picture issues there that need to be addressed, so I will continue, albeit with more humility.)
Pain is part of everyone's life, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a large part of mine, so ignoring it altogether would be weird after awhile. So I'm not saying that it never comes up. Things happen, they are part of life or whatever story I'm telling, and even if all that weren't true, you people, my Tribe, many of you care and want to know. (Awwwwwwwww.)
I'm just sayin' that I'm not going to Woe-Is-Me any more. Now, me sayin' it and it being true are often two different things, so if I start to moan and groan, you call me on it. Mock me, challenge me, tell me to think of the Children. Well, not them, but something!
You know, in the Bible there is an ofte-used phrase, "Lift up thine eyes." There are many meanings to the expression in Hebrew, but one of them is to focus on others, and moreover, it means to get out of your comfort zone. When we focus on others, when we get out of that little place where we feel safe and warm, we grow as people. I may not be able to take away everyone's pain, but if I am going to focus on pain, I want it to be others', even if it is pain and people who make me uncomfortable.
And maybe that helps my pain abate, so it's win/win.
Or at the very least, at least I'll shut up.
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