It's almost here! It's almost here!

The Simpsons Marathon starts tomorrow (10 a.m.) - on FXX - all 552 episodes plus the movie in there somewhere.

Now maybe, if you're like me, you plan to stay awake the next two weeks watching the episodes back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back.


However, if you don't have that kind of time, I have taken a few moments to scan over the contents of Thursday and Friday's episodes and have a few recommendations for you. If you have a DVR make sure you tape these. If not, make sure you watch them! (Prizes will be given for those who do.)

I'm not sure how the times work in other zones, so all times given are Eastern. Make your adjustments accordingly.


Thursday

10:00am - Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - The one that started it all.

11:50(ish)am - S01E04 - The end of this episode features the Simpsons in Family Therapy, and electrically shocking each other to the point of nearly causing a city-wide blackout.

2:00pm - S01E09 - Marge gets a bowling ball for her birthday, and marriage trouble ensues. ("Those trophies aren't for bowling; they're for lovemaking.")

3:00pm - S01E11 - Bart goes to France as an exchange student, and Homer accidentally commits espionage

5:00pm - S02E02 - Homer regrows his hair. NOT to be missed. Absolute classic.

10:00pm - S02E12 - How Homer and Marge met and fell in love.


Friday

11:30am - S03E17 - Mr. Burns hires ringers for the company softball team. One of the most quotable episodes ever.

1:00pm - S03E20 - Homer becomes the manager of a country singer. Love this episode so much.

3:30pm - S04E01 - Bart and Lisa go to summer camp. Non-stop hilarious, top-thee most quotable episode, and a rockin' song!

4:00pm - S04E02 - The Musical version of Streetcar Named Desire. You haven't lived until you've seen Ned Flanders as Stanley Kowalski.

4:30pm - S04E03 - Homer skips church, meets God, finds a penny. (may I point out that my last three recommendations were all in a row - possibly the best three-episode run in the show's history)


7:30pm - S04E09 - Homer becomes Mr. Plow. (Barney duets with Linda Ronstadt!)

9:00pm - S04E12 - Springfield gets a Monorail!

10:30pm - S04E15 - Ralph falls in love with Lisa!


These are the episodes from Thursday and Friday I recommend you watch or DVR. I will be back tomorrow with recommendations for the weekend.

New Lay's Flavors

In ascending order of my excitement level.......


2) Cappuccino - Not my thing, but go nuts. 

3) Wasabi Ginger (Kettle) - Should be good. Bet it makes a good crushed topping for casseroles. 

4) Mango Salsa (Wavy) - Dude, If they can make this work, a star is born

1) Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese - [Hyperion starts humping display case in the grocery store]

Muffin Law MCCCLXXXVII

So, my mother came by and she was making wonderful blueberry muffins, which basically smelled like what I imagine showering with the LORD would smell like. (Don't make it weird; I just need an analogy of awesomeness. Besides, the Weird is about to happen.)

So I was trying to compliment how amazing it smelled in the house, and I told her that her fresh out-of-the-oven muffins smelled "better than a fifteen-year old Vietnamese virgin." 

She laughed, but then a second later the full impact of my comparison hit her and she exclaimed: "Not funny!" 

But it was too late. She had laughed, and by the Ancient Code of the Muffin Society (specifically the 13th volume, 80th chapter and 7th verse) once my mother laughed, my outlandish and borderline illegal analogy was rendered accepted and most importantly: no Muffin Censure would come to my name. 

Rules is rules, yo. 

Ultimate Warrior

“Every man’s heart one day beats its final beat. His lungs breathe a final breath. And if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others, and makes them bleed deeper and something larger than life, then his essence, his spirit, will be immortalized. By the storytellers, by the loyalty, by the memory of those who honor him and make the running the man did live forever. You, you, you, you, you, you are the legend-makers of Ultimate Warrior.”  

- James Hellwig, aka The Ultimate Warrior, on Monday Night RAW, one day before suddenly collapsing and dying while walking with his wife at the age of 54. I will never forget the Wrestlemania he beat Hulk Hogan. R.I.P.