Sunday, June 13, 2010

100 Trillion Dollars

[I Twittered these this morning. I thought they were funny, even if no one else did.]






If I had 100 Trillion dollars I would burn ECLIPSE before anyone could see it. All TV Mute Buttons would be disabled.


If I had 100 Trillion dollars I  would ban all Horrorscopes but Gemini & make Fran Drescher a judge on American Idol.


If I had 100 Trillion dollars I would make cat owners wear bells around their necks & carry straw in their left hands.  




If I had 100 Trillion Dollars all Sports teams would be renamed The Fuzzies. HGTV & BET would merge Networks. 


If I had 100 Trillion dollars all vehicles & houses would be painted puke green. I'd have Carrot-Top marry your kid. 


If I had 100 Trillion Dollars I'd destroy all but 1 copy of EVERY book. All underwear (Men & Women) would be Bloomers.


If I had 100 Trillion dollars I'd make all adoptions be cross-racial. Paris Hilton would be Press Secretary. 




If I had 100 Trillion dollars I'd ban Hairspray, Leather, Texting, Muffins, Rainbows, the letter L, Coffee & Potatoes.




If I had 100 Trillion Dollars I'd make all religions combine with the Hamburgler as their figure-head. EAT MISERY, WORLD!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

So... Instead of banning leather, they would ban eat... her? ><

Hyperion said...

I looked at your comment for 3 minutes, even wrote a scathing response. Then, at the last moment, I got it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You're awesome.

No, I would never ban eating her. I'm a firm believer in Reciprocity.

Old Coin Buyer said...

If I had 100 trillion dollars then i gave them to poor peoples to make their life better.<a href="http://careerandinfo.blogspot.com>Reply me</a>

Hyperion said...

Poor people? What are they going to do with it? Feed and clothe their families? Borrrring.